Well, for me, I’ve taken a break from writing since November 30th. I reached my 50,000 word goal and just stopped writing. Didn’t pick up my laptop for months, except to do school work. I made a point to turn away from my projects because of how much time I spent writing in the month of November to complete NaNoWriMo 2023.
I was at a disadvantage going in, I started 8 days late. Literally on November 8th, I was at work, listening to a podcast and heard the host mention NaNoWriMo, and my interest immediately peaked. So I looked it up, and low and behold I found a gem. So what did my chaotic 24 year old brain do? Committed to a challenge while already in the negative. But good thing for me, I already had a few thousand words written when I started. So don’t come for me, no that’s not cheating! If anything it’s utilizing my resources to my advantage. (shrug)
So November 8th, where were we? Oh yes, me and my laptop, after work, and that’s when it all started, the story I had been workshopping for months in my head, and slightly in a doc, came to life. Finally I was getting it down. NaNoWriMo is no freaking joke. There were really hard days, days where I was exhausted from running around a hospital all day and did not want to write. Days where I just wanted to play Hogwarts Legacy, but alas, I forced myself to write.
Prior to the NaNoWriMo challenge I told myself that I was the type of writer who could only write when they felt “inspired” or had to be “in the right headspace”, and yes, that still stands. But I have now learned that I can write under pressure and deadlines if need be. Mood out the window, pain out the damn window too. Just get it done. And that I did.
NaNoWriMo is freaking hard, but after completing it, I will say, it is achievable, especially if you start on November 1st. So, what’s my next move? To edit, and to find beta readers, to entrust my friends and family with a story I have poured my heart into. Then, to find an agent, they get published. This road is going to be long and heavy, but NaNoWriMo has given me that push, that drive, and most importantly, it made me realize that I can do this, I am capable, I am not worthless.
If you’re struggling with your writing goals and stumble upon this meager and poorly written article, then I hope it has inspired you. Sometimes giving yourself a closely timed goal is key. Sometimes pressure is key. After all, the hubby always says, “Pressure makes diamonds.” -e.f.
Never Lie is a psychological thriller/mystery/suspense fiction novel by NYT best selling author Freida McFadden. The book centers around two main characters, both females, with big personalities. Tricia, who is a newly wed to her husband Ethan, and Dr. Hale, who is a famous author and psychiatrist, who just so happens to live out in the middle of nowhere New York, alone.
Dr. Hale goes missing, and has been missing for three years, everyone thinks the boyfriend did it, but did he? Throughout the course of this 290-something page turner, we uncover the truth as to what happened to Dr. Hale, and more importantly, what happened to Tricia in the past, prior to her marriage to Ethan.
Tricia is a deeply developed character, at first seeming surface and generic. Your average New York woman in her thirties who’s biggest problem is which shoes she’s going to wear that morning.
Dr. Adrienne Hale is a lone wolf power woman. Not scared of anything, or so she seems at the beginning. Dr. Hale is intelligent, and down to earth, but in the most fucked up yet humbling way. How she thinks is so brutally honest. If I had even half the ability to channel Adrienne in my day to day I’d be unstoppable. Her tenacity and desire for the truth is seductive (in a non-sexual way) . You can’t help but to love her, side with her, feel her thoughts and words as your own.
If I go on, I fear i’ll spoil a great read. But of course this doesn’t come with it’s cons. And this book really only has a couple for me. One, it reads very easily, and that’s not a bad thing for most readers, but I have been reading high fantasy and intensely written books for months now. Switching to something so simplistic and easy was weird, it was like i wasnt really reading. I don’t really think this is a bad thing, now that I think about it farther, but for someone who might be looking for a read that isn’t so elementary, I wouldn’t recommend this book, but if you are, and your brain needs a break, then this is a phenomenal option.
Two, the book is very “I”, “Me”, especially at the beginning. I understand that this happens a lot, especially in books with first person pov, but I personally find it icky, especially if it isn’t done tastefully. And this book went a little too far into the ick side for me, but mostly at the beginning.
Overall, I gave this book a ⅘ stars on GoodReads. The story was twisty and although at first it was easy to guess what was going to happen, after about 50% in, I could not guess anymore at what was going to happen next. I was completely caught off guard and taken by surprise at the details that developed in the final 50% of the book, mostly at the ending. Talk about crazy.
Anyways, give this book a read, but just understand that it may not be your cup of tea and there are some trigger warnings associated with this story, like murder, obsessive behavior, and death just to name a few.
Starring Haley Lu Richardson as Hadley Sullivan and Ben Hardy as Oliver Jones, Love at FirstSight is the perfect way to crack open the fall into winter season, now streaming on Netflix.
THIS IS NOT A SPOILER FREE REVIEW, PLEASE DO NO CONTINUE IF YOU DO NOT WISH TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS, IF YOU DO, BE MY GUEST, BUT I WARNED YOU.
Hadley is a student at NYU who is just trying to get to London for her dads wedding to a woman she’s never met. Oliver is studying statistics at Yale and is on time for his flight to London to go home to his living mothers death memorial. (sounds complicated but stay with me)
Hadley misses her flight, leading to a missed connection in which she meets Oliver. Her phone is dead like 80% of the time or dying. She meets him for the first time when he offers her his charger at the airport. This is that moment, when the time slows, and continues to stop for the next 7ish hours of their lives. Completely engulfed in each other.
I’ll skip to the good part, the plane scenes. Oliver’s seat belt is broken in economy, and Hadley is up in Business, the only open seat is the one next to hers. The flight attendant – who also happens to be the narrator, the bus driver, the customs agent, kind of like the whole movies’ guardian angel over these two characters – brings Oliver up to business and seats him next to Hadley. Over the next 6 hours, these two characters fall madly in love with each other.
Now the reason I say this movie is extremely satisfying has to do with a couple of things. One, we already know it’s gonna end with them together. Duh.
Two, upon landing in London, the story twists and turns and these two people who have no way of contacting each other – because Hadley’s phone died before she had the opportunity to save Oliver’s number (facepalm) – find each other against all odds, especially in a city unknown as an American college student (with a dead phone battery).
Three, this movie was surprisingly real. The fact that these two people spent such little amounts of time together and opened up to each other on a level normal people wouldn’t for months of dating is kind of amazing. But not unrealistic because it happens. Makes me wonder if their love story would be categorized under the forced proximity troupe.
And Four, the last and final reason why I find this movie terribly satisfying is the end. The narrator, who is played by The Good Place actress, Jameela Jamil, explains at the end what happens to Hadley and Oliver, not leaving out any doubt that they might break up, or get divorced, and she does this through the telling of statistics about their relationship through their life together. I absolutely felt so whole when this scene played out. My heart swelled with love and happiness for Oliver and Hadley. It is so rare in a movie or a book that we get to see what happens to them in the end. I can’t tell you how much it bothers me that the end of movies like this end with a passionate kiss or them walking together or doing something mundane that insinuates that they will be happy together forever. It just drives me mad.
The same goes with books, but a little less when there is an epilogue. But even then, epilogues only give you a glimpse into the lives of the characters a few months/years later.
There is something so complete in knowing that Hadley and Oliver grow old together, that she dies in his arms, that they have kids, and great success. It’s the ending no one ever dares touch, but delivered the most satisfaction. I think that if it was done more often people may feel it stale after a while. But aren’t we tired or “The End”?
Love at First Sight was just the beginning for Hadley and Oliver. I’d love to say that I wish there would be a second movie, but the ending gives it away that that would probably never happen.
As always, we must rate this movie, there was zero spice which was expected so i’m not even going to bother. But on a star scale, i’d give it 3.75 out of 5.
The only reason I cannot give it a full five or even four stars is due to the fact that I felt as though the movie could have been done a bit better in terms of making Hadley more likable, I don’t think she was very welcoming as a character. It was still good, but she felt underdeveloped and lacking, which is a huge movie ick for me, especially since most of the movie was compiled of her face on the screen. Oliver on the over hand was quite the opposite, I felt like we saw more of who he really was shine through the screen then Hadley.
Nevertheless, this movie still comes in at one of my top favs for new romance on Netflix right now. I’d say it’s worth giving it a watch, especially since it’s a fairly easy view. And most especially since it tells you how it ends.
In early April the world of ‘booktok’ as we know it changed. And it changed pretty much overnight. All thanks to the Fourth Wing. Since then, there has been this expectation placed upon the community, the books we are reading, the books being published, all needing to meet ‘that hype’.
Fourth Wing has revolutionized the world of books as I know it, and for a lot of other booktokers as well. Fourth Wing has changed the world of fantasy as we know it, and I truly believe it is for the better.
Rebecca Yarros, known for her other highly acclaimed published novels, has taken a leap and landed the jump with her new high fantasy novel. Fourth Wing takes place in an insanely descriptive and seriously developed fantasy world. Our main character Violet finds herself attending Basgiath War College. Exactly what it sounds like. A war college for the young adults in Navarre. Choosing -some of them not being able to choose- which role they want to play in this 600 year war that Navarre is fighting to win. Violet must enter the Rider’s Quadrant, training in the art of dragon riding, hand to hand combat, and war strategies.
Unfortunately for Violet, her mother is a General in the military, and has forced her hand into joining the riders. Violet goes, without hesitancy, and finds herself in for a world of literal hurt. Through Violet’s training, she meets a whole crew of killer friends and enemies, our love interest, Xaden (insert mega heart eyes), (spoiler alert) uncovers the secret plot of the rebellion, and discovers herself through her actions and most importantly, her dragons.
Regardless of the plot, characters, page size, story arcs, or whatever literary element you’d like to name to satisfy your heart, Fourth Wing is revolutionary. It has changed the way readers approach high fantasy. Previously, our high fantasy options consisted of, The Wheel of Time, The Hobbit, Game of Thrones, stories of that essence. You get the gist. A lot of the titles I just named are seemingly inaccessible for a lot of readers. The reasoning on that being the size.
Fourth Wing is new. The classics have been around for a long time. For the new wave of readers that something like tiktok is bringing to the world, those series are extremely inaccessible and take a huge chunk out of a person’s time. All in all, it’s a lot of commitment, and with all of the new publications releasing everyday, there simply isn’t enough time to read everything we want to read. Books like the Fourth Wing, ACOTAR, and The Priority of the Orange tree, have allowed us access to feel all the feels. To read the high fantasy, without all the commitment. Most of this comes from the fact that these books are still growing, and as they grow, we read.
Growing with a series is a special kind of feeling, and a lot of readers take kindly to this fact, falling in love with the characters, the author’s journey, the progression of the stories. This type of story progression has allowed us accessibility. High fantasy has been inaccessible for a long while, but with books like this, it’s time for change.
Let me start off by stating the obvious. ‘You Had Me at Hola’ is a strong Latinx rom-com novel written by native New Yorker Alexis Daria. Published in 2020, I can’t believe I didn’t get my grabby hands on it sooner.
This story takes you through the lives of a few Latinx characters over the course of a couple months on set shooting for a show called Carmen In Charge. Jasmine, our FMC plays Carmen, a wickedly beautiful and talented PR exec. at her own family’s PR company. And Ashton (insert a billion heart eyes) our MMC plays Victor. Victor is a legit pop star, who ends up in need of Carmen and her families services because he messed up big time and needs help turning his image around.
But here’s the catch. Carmen and Victor were married and are now divorced, but feelings linger. Feelings of hate, love, longing, and of course bedroom tension. The book follows along as Jasmine and Ashton portray these characters on screen, while behind closed doors, they are falling madly in love with one another. Their feelings growing stronger than they’d ideally like.
Of course, this wouldn’t be a complete Latinx novel without the heavy presence of familia involved. Daria depicts this wonderfully, by including side characters that are to die for! Michelle and Ava being two of my favorite. They call themselves the Primas of Power, meaning, cousins of power. Michelle and Ava (both, by the way, get their own book!) are relentlessly at Jasmine’s side throughout the novel, helping her to navigate her feelings towards Ashton. They even save her on an occasion or two from wild embarrassment, or from Jasmine making a mistake she cant afford.
Ashton’s family is my personal favorite though, with his dad, Ignacio. His AbuelitoGus, Abuelita Bibi, and of course, the star of the show, his kid son Yadiel. Ashton has kept his family a secret through his career as a telenovela actor and now as he’s struggling to make himself more of a household name in American tv and movies, he finds the secret harder and harder to keep. I won’t spoil it, but lets just say, the secrecy of this family, was a genius move by Daria. It added such depth to a wildly entertaining novel that I did not expect.
Also, the spice. Pepper rating…
2.5/5 peppers. I’d say that’s not too bad for a story that packed a punch in multiple different ways successfully.
This story is more than just its outer shell of drama and accidental love found on set. Its depth takes you to the deepest darkest places of many Latinx families. The sometimes overbearing and outrageous familial expectations. In some Latinx families, these can range from success in your profession, achieving the highest level of education possible, getting married, and having kids, to name a few.
I don’t think I want to speak for everyone here when I say this, but with most Latinx families, it’s education and marriage that takes precedence.
We see Jasmine struggle with these familial expectations throughout the story. Her mother and father are hard on her and seem to support, but not support her acting career. Her sister, Jillian (insert eye roll emoji and vomit emoji x12) is irritating, but on a surface level. Jillian with her perfect kids, Jillian with her perfect job. She makes me want to vomit, as I’m sure Jasmine can relate. Her family, from her parents, to her Abuelita, holds Jillian to the highest regard because she “did it right”.
These expectations are hard to live up too for a lot of people in the Latinx community, especially when you’ve been told your entire life, “you’re going to make the best mom one day” or “you’re going to go to Harvard and become the greatest lawyer the state of New York has ever seen”. As a little kid, its hard not to believe those things. Everything out parents tell us is law, written in stone, etched in the sun. But then we grow up. We become adults, and we realize that we never achieved those things we were told we were going to be when we were kids. Were teachers, or social workers, writers, or dog walkers. We don’t have kids or a PhD. We aren’t married, or even in a committed relationship. Dating is irksome and talking to new people is even worse. We realize we aren’t living up to the hype our parents placed on us as kids. Jasmine isn’t living up to the hype, even though she’s a freakin’ star actress and is about to go A list within the next 3 minutes.
Breaking out of this mentality can take years. For some, decades. By the end of the book we see Jasmine start to break through this barrier and accept herself for truly what she is and what she wants to do with her life. Her parents eventually begin to slowly come around, but the hesitancy is still there, and in some cases, it may be there for a long time and possibly never leave. Some people just can’t let go, their roots grow too deep. The important thing is that you can let go.
Your inner child is probably screaming right now.
“GO BACK TO SCHOOL”
“GET MARRIED TO THE FIRST GUY YOU MEET”
“JUST FREAKING DO IT TO MAKE THEM HAPPY”
This will mentality break you. The life we create is one driven by our own desires and wants and needs, not those of our parents or relatives. Surrendering to the expectations and pressures of our families will drive us farther and farther away from our goals. You’ll never be able to write that book, never buy that motorcycle, never hike that mountain, because you and I know for damn sure they are 100% going to stop you from it.
Family, especially in the Latinx community, can be our greatest strength, but it can also be our greatest weakness. At times of need, your mother’s embrace can be all that’s needed to heal an open wound. The taste of your abuelitasarepasy sancocho could put back together broken hearts.
“You Had Me at Hola” is important in more than just one way. It shows us that someone like Jasmine, who grew up speaking very minimal espan˜ol, is and always will be a Latina through and through. A lot of people assume, and unfortunately some Latinx people as well, still go about this way of thinking, that if you cant speak the language, you aren’t Latina or Latino. Well thats just not true. There is more than one way to fell connected to our ancestors, our home land, our families past and gone, our families of current. There are more than one ways to be a Latina, a Latino, to be Latinx. We are not to be determined by the words that come our of our mouths, we are determined by the blood that courses through our veins.
The degradation of Latinx community members by non Latinx and Latinx peoples has become an epidemic of hate. It must end. The invalidation of our blood must end. The expectation that all Latinx people can speak fluent Spanish is garbage. A new tide has washed upon the shore and when it pulls back out to sea, it must take with it the trash that has ruined this world.
If you found this passage to pull at something deep inside of you, please read this book. It’s worth it and also wildly entertaining.
Not being able to write sucks. For some authors and writers, we seem to find our greatest ideas and motivation through the alignment of the “Perfect Writing Conditions”. This can mean anything as simple as lighting a candle and brewing yourself your favorite cup of earl grey tea steeped with honey. In some cases it can go as far as needing to do a series of tasks prior to writing, that helps to clear our minds and cleanse our souls before we pour it out on the page. Showering, listening to a particular playlist , having everything set up neatly and precisely on our desks, getting into that ‘writing’ mindset.
For some writers, like myself, the accessibility to the alignment of the “Perfect Writing Conditions” can not exist. Life happens. Kids are born, family members or close friends pass away, full time jobs become more and more demanding with each rising and falling sun. There are simply times in our lives when we cannot work towards our goals until we push through the obstacle we are currently faced with.
Sitting down to write a 90,000-word epic fantasy novel while going through mega-life challenges and changes isn’t feasible for some writers. And that’s okay. Others may find their greatest ideas or plot lines out of being in a situation like such. And that’s okay, too.
But let’s be honest, channeling the inner thoughts of a creature that doesn’t even exist on this planet may be a little hard when life stressors weigh down on you every waking second.
Since the beginning of this year (2023) I have not written a single word towards the project I’ve had sitting open on my laptop. Nor, have I touched the other 6 story lines I keep near and dear to my heart as well. The concept of writing towards my open story lines is just not achievable at this time. Balancing a new job in an extremely stressful health environment, working my way through the fallout after escaping a detrimentally toxic household, and navigating safely back to shore has been the hardest sets of tasks I have ever had to work through in my life. And it isn’t even over yet.
These situations by no means determine who I am as a person or a writer. But, they do tend to haunt me in the middle of the night, waking me from sleep with shame and pain written across my face. These are my reasons for not being able to write.
How can I justify giving my characters the attention to detail they deserve, if I cannot yet give that to myself in my writing first?
I’m aware there is a light at the end of this tunnel, but I have yet to even break through the fog to see it. And that’s okay.
I have come to terms with this fact, that I will not be able to write for my characters and tell my stories until those “Perfect Writing Conditions” are present and achievable. A lot of people who I’ve spoken too about this have said, “Just write” or “You just got to sit down and let it all out for an hour or so”.
No. I’m sorry. My brain doesn’t work like that.
Writing is an art form. You wouldn’t tell an artist not to do their “pre-session ritual” would you? No, because then maybe Picasso wouldn’t be Picasso, or maybe Van Gogh would still have his left ear.
Maybe it sounds crazy, but it’s how our brains work. As long as we’re okay with it, and it works for us, why stop? Why drift from the plan? Why find ways around something if it works for us? Quality assurance am I right?
Writing when you cannot write is about utilizing our skills and tool set sent upon us as authors and writers; in a time when we literally mentally can’t work on our passion projects.
Writing when you cannot write is about telling yourself it’s okay to not work toward your goal. You’re working towards it in another way, sometimes this may be the most important part that you just don’t see yet.
Writing when you cannot write is about forgiveness.
So, how can I write if I cannot write?
Well, for one, starting a blog, which is exactly what I’ve done here. You could utilize that blog to write about something else you enjoy, in my case here, I’ll be writing reviews on books I’ve read. Maybe the occasional tv show, or movie.
I’ll write about my thoughts, my ideas, and my theories. and of course, if there are any spoilers, I will ensure a fair warning prior to the beginning of the passage.
Journaling is also a great release, either on paper or in a savable text document online.
The purpose of writing when you cannot write is to find other ways to do what you love, even though you cannot do it 110%. I understand that some people may not agree with this mindset, and thats perfectly acceptable. The most important rule of writing when you cannot write, is understanding that you are the most important factor in you life, and you come first. Take care of yourself, and the rest will follow.
Ariana Alexander 