Let me start off by stating the obvious. ‘You Had Me at Hola’ is a strong Latinx rom-com novel written by native New Yorker Alexis Daria. Published in 2020, I can’t believe I didn’t get my grabby hands on it sooner.
This story takes you through the lives of a few Latinx characters over the course of a couple months on set shooting for a show called Carmen In Charge. Jasmine, our FMC plays Carmen, a wickedly beautiful and talented PR exec. at her own family’s PR company. And Ashton (insert a billion heart eyes) our MMC plays Victor. Victor is a legit pop star, who ends up in need of Carmen and her families services because he messed up big time and needs help turning his image around.
But here’s the catch. Carmen and Victor were married and are now divorced, but feelings linger. Feelings of hate, love, longing, and of course bedroom tension. The book follows along as Jasmine and Ashton portray these characters on screen, while behind closed doors, they are falling madly in love with one another. Their feelings growing stronger than they’d ideally like.
Of course, this wouldn’t be a complete Latinx novel without the heavy presence of familia involved. Daria depicts this wonderfully, by including side characters that are to die for! Michelle and Ava being two of my favorite. They call themselves the Primas of Power, meaning, cousins of power. Michelle and Ava (both, by the way, get their own book!) are relentlessly at Jasmine’s side throughout the novel, helping her to navigate her feelings towards Ashton. They even save her on an occasion or two from wild embarrassment, or from Jasmine making a mistake she cant afford.
Ashton’s family is my personal favorite though, with his dad, Ignacio. His Abuelito Gus, Abuelita Bibi, and of course, the star of the show, his kid son Yadiel. Ashton has kept his family a secret through his career as a telenovela actor and now as he’s struggling to make himself more of a household name in American tv and movies, he finds the secret harder and harder to keep. I won’t spoil it, but lets just say, the secrecy of this family, was a genius move by Daria. It added such depth to a wildly entertaining novel that I did not expect.
Also, the spice. Pepper rating…
2.5/5 peppers. I’d say that’s not too bad for a story that packed a punch in multiple different ways successfully.
This story is more than just its outer shell of drama and accidental love found on set. Its depth takes you to the deepest darkest places of many Latinx families. The sometimes overbearing and outrageous familial expectations. In some Latinx families, these can range from success in your profession, achieving the highest level of education possible, getting married, and having kids, to name a few.
I don’t think I want to speak for everyone here when I say this, but with most Latinx families, it’s education and marriage that takes precedence.
We see Jasmine struggle with these familial expectations throughout the story. Her mother and father are hard on her and seem to support, but not support her acting career. Her sister, Jillian (insert eye roll emoji and vomit emoji x12) is irritating, but on a surface level. Jillian with her perfect kids, Jillian with her perfect job. She makes me want to vomit, as I’m sure Jasmine can relate. Her family, from her parents, to her Abuelita, holds Jillian to the highest regard because she “did it right”.
These expectations are hard to live up too for a lot of people in the Latinx community, especially when you’ve been told your entire life, “you’re going to make the best mom one day” or “you’re going to go to Harvard and become the greatest lawyer the state of New York has ever seen”. As a little kid, its hard not to believe those things. Everything out parents tell us is law, written in stone, etched in the sun. But then we grow up. We become adults, and we realize that we never achieved those things we were told we were going to be when we were kids. Were teachers, or social workers, writers, or dog walkers. We don’t have kids or a PhD. We aren’t married, or even in a committed relationship. Dating is irksome and talking to new people is even worse. We realize we aren’t living up to the hype our parents placed on us as kids. Jasmine isn’t living up to the hype, even though she’s a freakin’ star actress and is about to go A list within the next 3 minutes.
Breaking out of this mentality can take years. For some, decades. By the end of the book we see Jasmine start to break through this barrier and accept herself for truly what she is and what she wants to do with her life. Her parents eventually begin to slowly come around, but the hesitancy is still there, and in some cases, it may be there for a long time and possibly never leave. Some people just can’t let go, their roots grow too deep. The important thing is that you can let go.
Your inner child is probably screaming right now.
“GO BACK TO SCHOOL”
“GET MARRIED TO THE FIRST GUY YOU MEET”
“JUST FREAKING DO IT TO MAKE THEM HAPPY”
This will mentality break you. The life we create is one driven by our own desires and wants and needs, not those of our parents or relatives. Surrendering to the expectations and pressures of our families will drive us farther and farther away from our goals. You’ll never be able to write that book, never buy that motorcycle, never hike that mountain, because you and I know for damn sure they are 100% going to stop you from it.
Family, especially in the Latinx community, can be our greatest strength, but it can also be our greatest weakness. At times of need, your mother’s embrace can be all that’s needed to heal an open wound. The taste of your abuelitas arepas y sancocho could put back together broken hearts.
“You Had Me at Hola” is important in more than just one way. It shows us that someone like Jasmine, who grew up speaking very minimal espan˜ol, is and always will be a Latina through and through. A lot of people assume, and unfortunately some Latinx people as well, still go about this way of thinking, that if you cant speak the language, you aren’t Latina or Latino. Well thats just not true. There is more than one way to fell connected to our ancestors, our home land, our families past and gone, our families of current. There are more than one ways to be a Latina, a Latino, to be Latinx. We are not to be determined by the words that come our of our mouths, we are determined by the blood that courses through our veins.
The degradation of Latinx community members by non Latinx and Latinx peoples has become an epidemic of hate. It must end. The invalidation of our blood must end. The expectation that all Latinx people can speak fluent Spanish is garbage. A new tide has washed upon the shore and when it pulls back out to sea, it must take with it the trash that has ruined this world.
If you found this passage to pull at something deep inside of you, please read this book. It’s worth it and also wildly entertaining.
Ariana Alexander 